Right now, there are several tornado warnings in and around our county. Anytime we have severe weather, I'm always taken back to the Liggins family reunion in Alexandria, Louisiana in 1996.
I don't remember much about that reunion, but I do remember a night where we had rented out a conference room of the hotel we stayed at for talent night. Once it was over, everyone was heading towards the exit when the lights went out for a few seconds. I figured someone accidently brushed up against the light switch. Soon someone said that there was a big storm, possibly a tornado warning. Once we got outside, I saw little debris flying, yet cars still on the road. My mother and I went back to our room where my dad was already in bed. Mom and I changed our clothes and went to my aunt's room where other family members gathered to sit around and talk. In the room, I didn't understand why my family was joking with each other, and re-telling what occured at talent night. Didn't they know there was a really bad storm outside? We could get swept away. I ignored everyone and hid under the covers.
I'm not for sure if it was just a bad storm, a tornado threat, or even part of a hurricane in Alexandria, Louisiana. All I know is that I left the deep south with fear. Once we returned to Louisville, I was scared to death anytime it rained. My mom worked the night shift then, and if she left for work and it was raining, there was no way I wanted to stay alone. So I crawled in the bed with my dad, hoping he would put on his spandex and cape and rescue me if I had blown away by wind, or swept away by water.
Years later, I have gotten over my fear of rain and thunderstorms. In fact, I welcome them now. I love to sleep through them. But when I think back to the nights I found myself seeking protection from the weather, I chuckle and think, "What was I thinking?" My parents couldn't have stopped the rain with their super heroic powers. My dad couldn't blow the tornado away, and my mom couldn't send the lightening back from where it came from. Had a tornado siren sent us to our basement, and the wind took away the roof, I'm sure my parents would have shielded me with their bodies, but without super powers.
There are no superheroes in real life as those in the comic books. There are real life heros such as police officers, firefighters, or even ordinary people doing extraordinary things. Yet to our children, we are larger than life figures, saving them from the Boogeyman, scary shadows, and monsters under the bed. We adults know these things are unreal, and shadows are just shadows, but we put on a brave face anyways to protect our kids. My son Elliot always fights the sleep. He cries and cries when he knows he's sleepy. He'll yawn then fight, then rub his eyes, then fight again. The other day, Jeff was trying to calm him down, and then he said, "It's okay, you can go to sleep. I won't let the Boogeyman get you. I'll fight him for you." It sounds silly, but these are what (some) kids believe in. Elliot's only 3 months old, but soon he'll hear about this scary man. And then both of his parents will fight to the death for their son.
Even parents will have to make believe every now and again.
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Been A While
It's been a few days since I've posted something. It's mainly because of Bejeweled on Facebook. I'm always #1, but last week someone took my spot and I tried to get it back, but fate didn't want it.
Things aren't great, yet they're not bad. It's almost like my issues are on a balance beam that is carefully wavering back and forth. Though last night a ton fell on the bad side. I won't disclose too much info, but all I'll say is that money is very much an issue. I told my mother that come September I'll move out so things can be a little easier for the bills. I still don't have a job or money, so it's super crunch time.
One thing I've never been accustomed to has been looking at the glass half full. I know that everything will be alright. I told my mom to look at other people who are in worse situations than us. Yet she wasn't having it. She didn't want to hear any words of encouragement, she just wanted my father and I to hear her complain.
Some situations are so bad that it seems as though you are in a speeding car and outside the windows are just a blur of colors. Your shoulders are strained and aching from the world resting upon them. Clouds have no silver lining. Hope is gone. When I'm in a bind, I usually think ahead to the future. I just imagine myself in a calm enviroment. Then I become calm. It doesn't seem like much, and it certainly doesn't work for everyone, but some times you just have to calm down. Things will eventually end, for better or for worse.
Just breathe.
Things aren't great, yet they're not bad. It's almost like my issues are on a balance beam that is carefully wavering back and forth. Though last night a ton fell on the bad side. I won't disclose too much info, but all I'll say is that money is very much an issue. I told my mother that come September I'll move out so things can be a little easier for the bills. I still don't have a job or money, so it's super crunch time.
One thing I've never been accustomed to has been looking at the glass half full. I know that everything will be alright. I told my mom to look at other people who are in worse situations than us. Yet she wasn't having it. She didn't want to hear any words of encouragement, she just wanted my father and I to hear her complain.
Some situations are so bad that it seems as though you are in a speeding car and outside the windows are just a blur of colors. Your shoulders are strained and aching from the world resting upon them. Clouds have no silver lining. Hope is gone. When I'm in a bind, I usually think ahead to the future. I just imagine myself in a calm enviroment. Then I become calm. It doesn't seem like much, and it certainly doesn't work for everyone, but some times you just have to calm down. Things will eventually end, for better or for worse.
Just breathe.
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Do You Solemnly Swear To Keep It In Your Pants?
Article first published as Do You Solemnly Swear To Keep It In Your Pants? on Technorati.
Rep. Anthony Weiner of New York announced to the country that it was he who leaked a lewd photo of himself to his Twitter account. For a week, Weiner had denied any involvement of this embarrassment, and claimed a hacker was the culprit. He also admitted to carrying online relationships with women other than his wife. Occasionally, a politician in this situation would resign, or even separate from his wife. Weiner is doing neither, and I say good for him.
John Edwards, Eliot Spitzer, Mark Sanford, and Arnold Schwarzenegger all had extramarital affairs, and of these men, there were marriage separations, resignations, and divorce. Yet a few presidents can’t escape from this list. Though these affairs were done privately, why is it that we place politicians under a very public microscope when they are uncovered? It is their private business, and if it is discovered, then let him and his family deal with it. They had affairs behind closed doors, now let them handle it behind closed doors.
It is fair to bring the affair into light when campaign or other government funds have been used to cover up the affair, such as former Sen. John Edwards. People opened up their wallets and check books to donate millions of dollars for Edward’s campaign in 2008 because they believed in him. They envisioned him as America’s future leader. However, they did not envisioned their money used as a cover for his sexual misconducts. Edward’s betrayed not only his wife’s trust, but his supporters.
It is a private matter between these politicians and their families, and whether the husband and wife decide to stay together and work things out or separate is their decision alone. Private citizens wouldn’t want their lives placed on public display, and neither do politicians.
These affairs and leaked photo shouldn’t become a liability to the work these men are expected to perform. I could care less if they carried extramarital affairs every night as long as they don’t use taxpayer’s money to cover it up and they still have the people’s interest and issues at heart. I don’t condone cheating on spouses or loved ones, but it is not my business especially when it involves a politician outside of my home state. It seems as though Americans have become so bored with their own lives that they have to see what is going on in someone else’s and showcase it to the country.
Again, I say good for Rep. Anthony Weiner for not resigning, nor separating from his wife. His photo has nothing to do with serving the people of New York, and if he and his wife decide to separate, then let them separate privately. The oaths these politicians take states nothing about who they see outside of their marriage. Strip away their title, and you will see that they are and have been men. Men who broke the sacred vows of marriage. Let them feel guilty all on their own, America. And if they don’t feel guilty,then mind your own business.
Read more: http://technorati.com/politics/article/do-you-solemnly-swear-to-keep/page-2/#ixzz1P1sDJocH
Rep. Anthony Weiner of New York announced to the country that it was he who leaked a lewd photo of himself to his Twitter account. For a week, Weiner had denied any involvement of this embarrassment, and claimed a hacker was the culprit. He also admitted to carrying online relationships with women other than his wife. Occasionally, a politician in this situation would resign, or even separate from his wife. Weiner is doing neither, and I say good for him.
John Edwards, Eliot Spitzer, Mark Sanford, and Arnold Schwarzenegger all had extramarital affairs, and of these men, there were marriage separations, resignations, and divorce. Yet a few presidents can’t escape from this list. Though these affairs were done privately, why is it that we place politicians under a very public microscope when they are uncovered? It is their private business, and if it is discovered, then let him and his family deal with it. They had affairs behind closed doors, now let them handle it behind closed doors.
It is fair to bring the affair into light when campaign or other government funds have been used to cover up the affair, such as former Sen. John Edwards. People opened up their wallets and check books to donate millions of dollars for Edward’s campaign in 2008 because they believed in him. They envisioned him as America’s future leader. However, they did not envisioned their money used as a cover for his sexual misconducts. Edward’s betrayed not only his wife’s trust, but his supporters.
It is a private matter between these politicians and their families, and whether the husband and wife decide to stay together and work things out or separate is their decision alone. Private citizens wouldn’t want their lives placed on public display, and neither do politicians.
These affairs and leaked photo shouldn’t become a liability to the work these men are expected to perform. I could care less if they carried extramarital affairs every night as long as they don’t use taxpayer’s money to cover it up and they still have the people’s interest and issues at heart. I don’t condone cheating on spouses or loved ones, but it is not my business especially when it involves a politician outside of my home state. It seems as though Americans have become so bored with their own lives that they have to see what is going on in someone else’s and showcase it to the country.
Again, I say good for Rep. Anthony Weiner for not resigning, nor separating from his wife. His photo has nothing to do with serving the people of New York, and if he and his wife decide to separate, then let them separate privately. The oaths these politicians take states nothing about who they see outside of their marriage. Strip away their title, and you will see that they are and have been men. Men who broke the sacred vows of marriage. Let them feel guilty all on their own, America. And if they don’t feel guilty,then mind your own business.
Read more: http://technorati.com/politics/article/do-you-solemnly-swear-to-keep/page-2/#ixzz1P1sDJocH
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
We've Only Just Begun
A few days ago, I wrote to the site Technorati that I wanted to write for them. In their standard form, they requested writing samples and asked why I wish to write for them . I stated about my newly found passion and that I didn't care if I had an audience, I had to write. A day later they accepted me. Looking back, I don't know if they accepted me because they actually read my blogs, or they let anyone in with a blog and complete sentences and great grammar. Whatever the case, I was extremely happy.
After my excitement started to simmer, yet still present, I began to write my first piece after reading their policy of writing an article on their site. Once I finished, I felt proud of myself, but didn't know if they were going to send it back for revisions, or reject it all together. I was wrong on both accounts. The next day I recieved an email stating that it was published. I had to do my happy dance, and when I got tired, I went to YouTube and played MC Hammer's U Can't Touch This. I didn't care if my article was the lowest of the lows, or recieved hurtful feedback. My article was published. If I didn't do anything else with my writing, I could still say that I had an article published on a website.
Publishing my article perked me right up. Not only did I have the opportunity to write for them, I had to oil the gears of my thinking machine. What to write? What to write? I decided to follow in the footsteps of my first article's content, which was my opinon about issues in the news, whether it was local or national. My first piece was about Anthony Weiner (haha, Weiner), and my second-which I am still waiting to hear back from-is about Kentucky's proposal for the homeless, elderly, and disabled to use their food stamp card in fast food restaurants.
So it seems as though my journey has officially begun, and only I can push myself foward. I can't stop, or take a detour. I will, however, allow myself a few pit stops so I can gather my thoughts and continue down the path of writing. This is a road that I don't see ending, and that is the way I like it.
After my excitement started to simmer, yet still present, I began to write my first piece after reading their policy of writing an article on their site. Once I finished, I felt proud of myself, but didn't know if they were going to send it back for revisions, or reject it all together. I was wrong on both accounts. The next day I recieved an email stating that it was published. I had to do my happy dance, and when I got tired, I went to YouTube and played MC Hammer's U Can't Touch This. I didn't care if my article was the lowest of the lows, or recieved hurtful feedback. My article was published. If I didn't do anything else with my writing, I could still say that I had an article published on a website.
Publishing my article perked me right up. Not only did I have the opportunity to write for them, I had to oil the gears of my thinking machine. What to write? What to write? I decided to follow in the footsteps of my first article's content, which was my opinon about issues in the news, whether it was local or national. My first piece was about Anthony Weiner (haha, Weiner), and my second-which I am still waiting to hear back from-is about Kentucky's proposal for the homeless, elderly, and disabled to use their food stamp card in fast food restaurants.
So it seems as though my journey has officially begun, and only I can push myself foward. I can't stop, or take a detour. I will, however, allow myself a few pit stops so I can gather my thoughts and continue down the path of writing. This is a road that I don't see ending, and that is the way I like it.
Monday, June 6, 2011
First tv, and now the movies?
Remember when you first walked in, and you instantly began to breathe in the smell of popcorn? You stood impaitiently waiting for the next available ticket seller because you didn't want to miss the previews. And although you knew you were running out of time, you still purchased the jumbo tub of popcorn, a large drink, and Sno Caps. Hands full, and the ticket between your index and middle fingers which are wrapped around the Diet Coke, the ticket taker retrieves it, and tells you it's to the left, number 5. The room is dimly lit, and you can barely see the steps in front of you because of your food. You manage to find the middle seat of the middle row. You set down your popcorn, Coke, and Sno Caps, and recline in the new chairs the theatre had installed last month. Leather, well fitted for those of the bigger size, and enough room to lean back and put your feet up on the seat in front you. You don't put your feet up, because this is the most anticipated movie of the summer, and the media expects it to smash box office and attendance records. People are filling up the seats all around you, chatting excitedly about the premiere. Then it seemed as though there were no more seats left in the entire theatre. Just as you empty your box of Sno Caps, the theatre goes dark. For the next 20 minutes, you watch five movie trailers, three of them which look interesting. Finally the movie you've been waiting for months to arrive is at last here. You are about to watch the summer's biggest blockbuster with more than 200 other eager patrons. Remember?
I had a love affair with movie theatres. I hated popcorn (and still do), yet I loved the aroma that swept the front entrance of the theatre. I skipped the concession stands because I was hiding food I brought from home in my pockets or purse. When I was a freshman in college, I had my driver's license, yet not a car, so the city bus would drop me off at the stop site where my mom parked her car in front of the grocery store in order to catch the bus for work. Every Friday I would go to the movies, matinee of course, and just sit back with no worries, and wait for the movie to play. It didn't matter to me that I went alone. I found it better that way. But times have changed within the last several years that places a distance between the theatre and I. The average price of a movie ticket was $7.89 last year. In 1948, it was $.36. And with the rise of the comeback of 3D, tickets are even more expensive. I found going to the theatre was a time to sit back and enjoy myself. A place to cool off during those extremely hot summers. A place to with family members after all of the Christmas presents have been opened and the turkey is all gone. The same expression I have on my face when I fill up my gas tank is now the same expression I have when purchasing a movie ticket.
Ticket prices aren't the only cause to the downfall of attending the theatre. The internet and television have ruined the suprise of what movies were to come out later that year, or even next year. Even now, there are countless of websites you can watch the full length movies that are currently in the theatres. Certain movies are played in a select number of theatres across the country, and if it's playing in one theatre in your city, many of you would have to fill up your gas tanks just to travel to get there. And people pretty much saw the movie before it ever came out due to various clips on late night talk shows, fan based websites, even Comic-Con. Why bother spend my money when tv and the internet have practically already played the movie?
For me, there was a special magic to movie theatres. People from every walk of life came together in the same movie theatre with the same film in mind to watch. Strangers laughed, cried, jumped, and gasped at the same time. We were at the edge of our seats, dying to know who the murderer was, or wondered if the woman was going to return her feelings to the man who confessed his loved for her after decades had passed.
Now, that magic is slowly vanishing. Every now and then I like to go to the movie theatre but only when there is a movie that I feel would be better enjoyed on a 30 foot screen, rather than a 17 inch screen in the comfort of my home. If I think back for a moment, I believe the last movie I saw in the theatre was True Grit. That was this past December. It's now June. Though there have been movies I wanted to see that was not bootleg, I still have the problem of mustering up the $7.89 to spend on a ticket. I already have to search between couch cushions for gas money. I don't believe going to the movie theatre will die, but it is severely damaged. Movie going has lost it's shine it once had. Commercials are brought from the television and put on the big screen. Three dimensional glasses places a dent in our wallets, though it makes certain films worth it. The recovery of our economy seems to go up and down every other week, and the hopes of Americans dreams of a better tomorrow is bleek. What used to ease our pain and relieves our stress is now a cause of our pain. Going to the movies were an escape to us, and with tv and websites already premiring movie trailers, where will we run to now?
I had a love affair with movie theatres. I hated popcorn (and still do), yet I loved the aroma that swept the front entrance of the theatre. I skipped the concession stands because I was hiding food I brought from home in my pockets or purse. When I was a freshman in college, I had my driver's license, yet not a car, so the city bus would drop me off at the stop site where my mom parked her car in front of the grocery store in order to catch the bus for work. Every Friday I would go to the movies, matinee of course, and just sit back with no worries, and wait for the movie to play. It didn't matter to me that I went alone. I found it better that way. But times have changed within the last several years that places a distance between the theatre and I. The average price of a movie ticket was $7.89 last year. In 1948, it was $.36. And with the rise of the comeback of 3D, tickets are even more expensive. I found going to the theatre was a time to sit back and enjoy myself. A place to cool off during those extremely hot summers. A place to with family members after all of the Christmas presents have been opened and the turkey is all gone. The same expression I have on my face when I fill up my gas tank is now the same expression I have when purchasing a movie ticket.
Ticket prices aren't the only cause to the downfall of attending the theatre. The internet and television have ruined the suprise of what movies were to come out later that year, or even next year. Even now, there are countless of websites you can watch the full length movies that are currently in the theatres. Certain movies are played in a select number of theatres across the country, and if it's playing in one theatre in your city, many of you would have to fill up your gas tanks just to travel to get there. And people pretty much saw the movie before it ever came out due to various clips on late night talk shows, fan based websites, even Comic-Con. Why bother spend my money when tv and the internet have practically already played the movie?
For me, there was a special magic to movie theatres. People from every walk of life came together in the same movie theatre with the same film in mind to watch. Strangers laughed, cried, jumped, and gasped at the same time. We were at the edge of our seats, dying to know who the murderer was, or wondered if the woman was going to return her feelings to the man who confessed his loved for her after decades had passed.
Now, that magic is slowly vanishing. Every now and then I like to go to the movie theatre but only when there is a movie that I feel would be better enjoyed on a 30 foot screen, rather than a 17 inch screen in the comfort of my home. If I think back for a moment, I believe the last movie I saw in the theatre was True Grit. That was this past December. It's now June. Though there have been movies I wanted to see that was not bootleg, I still have the problem of mustering up the $7.89 to spend on a ticket. I already have to search between couch cushions for gas money. I don't believe going to the movie theatre will die, but it is severely damaged. Movie going has lost it's shine it once had. Commercials are brought from the television and put on the big screen. Three dimensional glasses places a dent in our wallets, though it makes certain films worth it. The recovery of our economy seems to go up and down every other week, and the hopes of Americans dreams of a better tomorrow is bleek. What used to ease our pain and relieves our stress is now a cause of our pain. Going to the movies were an escape to us, and with tv and websites already premiring movie trailers, where will we run to now?
Sunday, June 5, 2011
If your girl only knew
When I had this blog in mind, I was thinking this particular person who I will mention shortly was the same age I am now when she died. However, there is only a two year difference, so I'll continue.
The song "If Your Girl Only Knew" was stuck in my head last night, and I'm not sure why. I heard none of her songs on the radio lately, her movies have not been on my tv, and I've not heard anyone mentioning her name. I suppose some things pop in your head with no valid explanation. As the song repeated the first line of the first verse then skipped to the chorus, I began to think back to 2001, the year Aaliyah was killed in a plane crash along with eight other passengers.
I thought back to One In A Million, one of the first CDs I've ever owned. The song "4 Page Letter" was one of my favorites from 1996, and the video just confused the dickens out of me.
The song "If Your Girl Only Knew" was stuck in my head last night, and I'm not sure why. I heard none of her songs on the radio lately, her movies have not been on my tv, and I've not heard anyone mentioning her name. I suppose some things pop in your head with no valid explanation. As the song repeated the first line of the first verse then skipped to the chorus, I began to think back to 2001, the year Aaliyah was killed in a plane crash along with eight other passengers.
I thought back to One In A Million, one of the first CDs I've ever owned. The song "4 Page Letter" was one of my favorites from 1996, and the video just confused the dickens out of me.
My mind also went back to Romeo Must Die, a movie I actually didn't care for that much then. In any case, Aaliyah had accomplished so much in her short career, with three albums, one platinum, the other two double platinum, scores of musical nominations and wins. When she died, she was just 22.
When I was 22, I was still in college not knowing a thing of what I wanted when (or if) I graduated. I had a job that I hated, yet had no real reason too, my boyfriend and I did nothing and went nowhere, and of course, I was still living at home. I certainly didn't travel the world gracing audiences with my melodic voice, or entertaining them with my natural acting talent. Though there is a two year diffrence, I questioned myself, "If I died today, what would I have had accomplished?"
I don't view motherhood as an accomplishment. It sounds as though there was no pure emotion when speaking of motherhood is something to accomplish. Like it was a job. I view it as a blessing, a gift like no other. It's indescribable, but I would not call it an accomplishment. Looking outside of myself answering this question, I would say that I had achieved my degree in Paralegal....and that's it. I honestly can not come up with any other achievements. I suppose I could stretch it by adding earning my driver's license as an achievement. Jealously is not a factor when mentioning Aaliyah. I know I can't sing or act, so there's no use of becoming envious. It just makes me feel a little low when I see perfomers, much younger than Aaliyah gain so much star power and achieving so much in such a short amount of time. Miley, Nick, Joe, Kevin, Selena, Demi, Victoria, Miranda (iCarly), and dear lord, Justin. There's not a day that goes by I don't hear their name or see their show on when channel surfing. These annoying mega stars, amongst tweens and creepy guys living in their mother's basement, can and should retire right now and live comfortably for the rest of their lives. Nevertheless, what these, and other current tween/teen idols, have already done are accomplishments.
As I stated before, jealous is not a factor. However some of these teen sensations should not be making the amount of money they are making, if it were solely based on their talent. I see this as an eye opener, however. If, at whatever age I should die, I want to accomplish something, anything, I should do something about it. Why wait for the opportunity to knock? I should be the one knocking. It doesn't have to be singing, or acting, it can be something simple such as visiting the elderly in a retirement home. I don't even need a family member to be one of the residents. Or I could raise money for a charity that I never heard of. In fact, now that I think of it, my blogs are an accomplishment. Audience or no audience, I'm doing something that I love. It's not giving back to the community, or making millions of dollars from knowing how to operate a auto-tuner, but it's for me. For my self esteem.
I have accomplished something.
Saturday, June 4, 2011
Off my game for the night
The other day I went to the dollar tree looking for batteries, and I told myself those were the only things I had my eyes set on. In and out. When I discovered they didn't have D batteries at the moment, I staggered for a second then walked over to the aisle with school supplies. I've been wanting another notebook to do my writing in, but I knew that I would be wasting money because there is a mass collection of them in my closet from my days as a student. However, my eyes were soon cast upon the composition notebooks. But these were different than those I am familar with. As a three pack, they were itty bitty composition notebooks. About the size of my hand and only 50 sheets, I found the purpose for at least of the the tiny notebooks. Since discovering my passion for writing which had been buried within me for years, I decided that I should have something to jot down the notes that I hatch in my head. So far there are a few lines written with various thoughts. Unfortunetly, I've already used them up in previous blogs. Now, though my mind is not empty, I don't have anything to write.
Ironic, right? I have nothing to write about, yet here I am writing about it. I had several topics rolling like marbles in my mind, but I just could not formulate them into a practical blog. In fact, I just had a couple of paragraphs just briefly touching on those topics. But somehow, I am unfocused. Not sure how, perhaps it is due to the lack of sleep, I don't know. However I do know that if I didn't write today, I wouldn't write tomorrow due to procrastination. I suppose the plus side is that I don't have any followers. So there is no pressure to come up with an intriguing blog. That being said, I still write because I want to. I must. I don't care if I don't have an audience. Clarity is what I feel once I empty mind.
Until tomorrow.
Ironic, right? I have nothing to write about, yet here I am writing about it. I had several topics rolling like marbles in my mind, but I just could not formulate them into a practical blog. In fact, I just had a couple of paragraphs just briefly touching on those topics. But somehow, I am unfocused. Not sure how, perhaps it is due to the lack of sleep, I don't know. However I do know that if I didn't write today, I wouldn't write tomorrow due to procrastination. I suppose the plus side is that I don't have any followers. So there is no pressure to come up with an intriguing blog. That being said, I still write because I want to. I must. I don't care if I don't have an audience. Clarity is what I feel once I empty mind.
Until tomorrow.
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