Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Brighter Days

Well I got the job at the Y! The interview was one of those group interviews, with two other girls, and I went in there not prepared with mental notes with what to say. I was nervous, and once I left I went over the questions in my head and came up with better answers. But all that doesn't matter, because two days later, I recieved the call, and was told I could have the job. Being really excited, I couldn't contain my joy, and blurted out how happy and excited I was. I still am. I'm excited to work again, to bring Elliot with me, to get a FREE membership, to sign up for exercise classes, and most importantly-to get out of this house. The slightly bad thing is that I thought this was a Monday through Friday job, but I was told it's only for two days a week with one to two Saturdays a month. And it's minimum wage. I'm not complaining, because I could be without a job all together again. It's just that it makes it a little bit harder to move out now.

Side note, Jeff is finished at FedEx, all the temp people's time is up. I'm sad that he wasn't offered a permanent position, yet he didn't hear talk of the possibility from anyone. Not even other drivers. But I'm also happy because lately he's been gone for so long and working late, and we haven't been able to have family time.

The thought of getting a second job has crossed my mind, however. I figured I could work at the Y, and also do medcial billing and coding at home. But to do that, I would have to make money for the classes. So today, I had to fill out the paper work and I asked if this position could turn into full time work. The lady said no, but what a lot of people do is work multiple jobs within the Y. And I said I would be interested in doing that, but it didn't go further than that. Just the possibility of working two jobs at the Y is good enough for me.

I feel a lot less stressful now. I think a huge part was due to Jeff working late and I basically took care of Elliot on my own without leaving the house. But I do want to start counseling. There are a few things that I feel are keeping me down, and if I talk to a therapist, then weight can finally be lifted from my shoulders.

I have to wait a week for the papers to be processed at the Y, then I'll get a call to set up the times for training. But I am super excited. Finally, good things can start happening.

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Don't Sweat It

Yes, I know it's been a few weeks. Sometimes I just can't bring myself to type a blog. Elliot's photo shoot went great. He didn't sleep on the way there, so I knew he would be cranky. Thankfully, he was only cranky in between shoots. So now it's a waiting game. The pictures will be up on the website soon, and now we have to wait to hear back to see if someone wants Elliot for their magazine/newspaper, etc.

Thanksgiving was good. Very small and simple. Jeff came to church with Elliot and I, then we went over to Jeff's house to eat, came back to my house and slept. Small. Simple.

Lately I've been looking for a job. Jeff assures me that things will be fine as far as bills go, and us moving out, but I need money. There are things that I'd like to buy, and if I don't have it, I can't get it. So a job is what I need. Avon certainly isn't working out. I've done a few orders and have not recieved one cent from them. I haven't made enough. I know the key is to get out there, hand out brochures and talk to people, but who has money now to buy wants, not needs? So luckily I recieved a call from a lady at the YMCA about a job interview. It would be for their day care-a job where I could take Elliot. Well I told Jeff, and not going into specifics, he made a point where me getting a job would do more damage than good. I could detail it more, but that's a little too personal for a blog (though no one reads this).

This past Sunday in Sunday School, our lesson was putting away our worries. Worrying means you do not trust the Lord. Paraphrasing the Bible, scriptures says that though birds are not caged up, they are free to fly wherever, and yet they still eat, still taken care of. The lilies of the field are taken care of-just look at their beautiful colors. We are more valuable than the birds and flowers. So I'm trying my hardest not to worry about anything. That doesn't mean that I'll just sit by, twiddling my thumbs, expecting change to happen. It takes work. And time. So this past summer, my air was completely gone from my car. And this past month, my heat had been slowly going out to the point where it didn't work. I was suppose to pick up Jeff from work Monday evening, while it was raining. My windows were fogged, and I could barely see anything. I had to stop off at Jeff's home to pick up his checks so he could cash them. After I got them, I gave up and called his mother, telling him it was not possible for me to travel with no visibility in the rain at night. I wasn't going to put myself nor my son in the possibility of getting into a wreck. Jeff and I had been talking about getting my car looked at because though we could stand the blistering heat without air, we would not go through the cold without heat. Thankfully, Jeff wasn't needed at work Tuesday, so I wanted to get my car looked at. I usually go to a place to have my car looked at, but I wanted to go to Auto Zone and see what they said first. I was hoping it was something simple and cheap, rather than go to the body shop and have to pay more than I'd like. God came through, because it was the simpliest of things-no anti-freeze. All it took was $15 (with a $7 dollar rebate) to get my heat back on. And you know what? I wasn't worried.

Can't sweat the small stuff

Sunday, November 13, 2011

America's Next Top (Baby) Model

I know it's been a few days, and I can't give a real reason as to why I've been absent. Partly because I was lazy. Starting off with great news, Elliot has been signed on to a modeling agency. I'm very excited, yet very cautious. I don't want to reveal how much we paid to get him signed on, but Jeff and I thought it over very carefully, and decided this is what we want to try with our son. I did do my homework before we went to the office Saturday. Knowing the cons, we thought "Why not take a chance and see what may or may not happen, rather than not do anything at all?" So we're taking a big risk. Elliot has his first shoot on November 19, so my nerves will be on edge by then. The woman we spoke to was really nice and excited to work with Elliot. Apparently, she and my mom lived down the hall from each other in college (small world), so that makes her more realistic than superficial.

Now I know what you're thinking: "Every parent thinks their child can be a model." That's very true, yet Jeff and I see potential in our son to see his face grace the cover of a magazine-local or national. The lady at the agency says she can see Elliot in movies and television shows. I think she was blowing smoke right there. I don't disagree entirely, I just disagree realistically. We're not going to move to Hollywood right this instance with rock hard assurance he'd crawling on the red carpet as soon as the plane lands just because someone outside the family says he could be in tv and movies. I'm also glad that Jeff and I are on the same page as to where modeling might take Elliot in the future. If he gets a couple of jobs and money is coming in, we agreed to create a savings account for Elliot for his college funds. Yes, even if my boy has a well known face that girls will go crazy for- he will have a college education. Also, when we move out and Elliot has a bit of money, we will only touch it as a last resort in terms of needing to pay for utilities and rent. This would be not an act of selfishness. This would be so we could keep a roof over our heads. But like I said, this would be as a last resort.

I really hope that this isn't a waste of money. But we shall see...

Tuesday, November 1, 2011


Elliot had a good Halloween. We dressed him up as a lion. It's not an inside joke, but there is a reason why the lion is the animal refered most to in Jeff's and my relationship.

 Since he's just a baby, trick or treating didn't seem right. So we went to my church that had a trunk or treating. If you don't know what that is, it's where people had out candies to kids from their trunks. Sounds creepy at first, but it seems that churches are the ones who do them. There were a lot of people there too. We got there about 45 minutes late, but it wasn't like Elliot was going to do any of the activities anyways.

Once we got there, we stood around looking like idiots, but then they called everyone to get in line because the trick or treating was about to start. We started to stand in line, but then got out because we didn't think there was a point in getting candy. Elliot can't eat it, and we certainly didn't need it. So we got out, and walked around. After that, we ended up back in line since it would've been silly just to go there, walk around, then leave. I didn't recognize anyone in line, mainly because the event was also targeted to neighborhood folks. Though, there was a guy behind us who sounded just like Terrance Howard. His face was painted, so who knows? Maybe we had a Hollywood actor standing behind us, and we just didn't know for sure. Everyone loved Elliot's costume (but we did see another child wearing the same one...Elliot was cuter), two people even took his picture. These weren't strangers though. I think I would've drawn the line there. But it was the wife of my Sunday School teacher, and my mom's best friend, who's also an associate minister at our church. With the oohs and awes, we did hold up the line a couple of times, which I thought was funny, since I didn't see it happen to anyone else. Admit it or not, as a parent you do think your child(ren) are cuter than others, so it's okay to be a little vain.

Once we got back in the car, I took a look at the bag, and I have to say I'm slightly disappointed, yet glad at the selection of candy we recieved. On the down side, it was crap candy, but it's okay because this means we wouldn't have to stuff our faces with sugar for the next couple of days.

Though it wasn't much, I am glad that Elliot had a good Halloween. I told Jeff that I hope I can be that type of mom that gets involved in Elliot's school functions like Halloween parties. But then I said that once he reaches something stupid would happen and cancel all kinds of parties. I know there's a mom out there somewhere that age, who is just waiting to make a fuss about her kids getting candy from school and later discovering they have Diabetes.

On an ending note, Jeff had a good first day of work. He didn't stay as long as he has been last week, so it was nice traveling to Indiana, not having to fight traffic. He also said a new contract has been worked out between the staffing agency and FedEx where he'll be making two dollars more on his paycheck. I'm praying this is the thing we need to get out of our houses. All we need next is for him to be hired on permanetly. Gotta start praying more.

Friday, October 28, 2011


Jeff got the job at FedEx! I was so worried throughout the day, praying, hoping and wishing. Jeff said that he was one of three who passed. One lady didn't make it. So now he has to wait until Monday to hear back from them to say when he can come in. At least he doesn't have to go in Halloween-we can go out with Elliot. Though it's temporary with the hopes of becoming permanent, I'm still proud of him.

I think I found a new hobby-baking cupcakes. I started off basic yesterday: yellow with vanilla frosting. Also, I just have green icing, so it looks like I need to go to the store tomorrow.
I really need to work on my decorating skills. But I was really proud of myself. It took no time to make these (I guess since it was a basic recipe), so I'd like to do this again. Another thing that makes it worthwhile is finding recipes just for six cupcakes. I would rather eat 6 of these by myself than 24 if it came down to just me. Jeff did try one and he said he liked it. That's all I really need, approval of the cupcakes. I don't think anyone would go head over heels in love with my cupcakes, fronting the money for a bakery. Though it would be nice if this turned into something. But for now, it's just a hobby.

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Funky Funk Funk

I hate when I'm in a creative mood. I hate it because I can't come up with anything to express my creativeness. A few Christmases ago, my mom gave me a sewing machine because I was really into Project Runway. Hardly used it. I also have one of those summer camp pot holder things, but what could I really do with those? I've been thinking about crocheting, but it might be a waste of time. I was also thinking about baking. But a huge problem arises: dad is diabetic...mom doesn't want all of those calories...Jeff doesn't care for sweets...and Elliot, well he has no teeth. So I have no one to give cakes, brownies, or cupcakes to. Certainly can't go door to door- that's just creepy. It'd be different if I actually knew my neighbors. Hmmm...just had an idea: I could bake cupcakes, go to my neighbors and give them an Avon book. It could work. I just have to push myself to do this.

I'm just in a funk right now. I need money badly, bills are piling up, and the future is grey. I'm losing interest fast. In just about everything. I'm pulling everything I have out of me to right this blog, but it's coming out in clumps of nothing. Perhaps I should stop while I'm ahead.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

The last couple of days have been slow but steady. Last time I was bummed because I felt that Elliot favors Jeff as the favorite parent. I still feel that way, but I'm not as sad as I was. Sunday I spoke with Jeff on the way home from church, and we talked about it for a bit. I told him my being upset/sad has nothing to do with him. And it doesn't. I'm glad that Elliot loves his daddy and smiles and laughs when Jeff does silly things. Elliot is blessed to have two parents who are crazy about him. How could I be sad about that?

In other news, I've been thinking about getting back into Avon. Now that I have to stay home while Jeff works, I need money. Sometimes I wish I could get a job, but I love staying at home with Elliot. It's a confusing time for us. A couple of years ago, I did this weight loss research program that paid $75 dollars a visit, with a $5 gas card. I might look into that again.

It's not good for anyone to obsess with money, but good gracious, that's all I've been doing for the past 5 months. Yet I have to constantly think about money. I have bills to pay, though I keep using my credit card. But I have to use my credit card to buy things I or Elliot needs. However, I am guilty of using it for unnecessary expenses, like going out to eat, but that's the only unnecessary expense.

I'm at a lost. Jeff doesn't technically have this job at FedEx yet. This week is just the classes, where Friday will be the test to determine whether or not he'll be hired. So I suppose my knees will have carpet burn since I'll be kneeling and praying all this week. He (meaning God) has to give us a break. Well, not "has to." Certainly can't tell Him what to do. But something's got to give.

Lawd have mercy.